Texting on the Microwave; or, the Experience of the Street in New York City

I do not have a cell phone. I do not have a BlackBerry. I do not have a—what do you call it—computer—or any of these things. A microwave oven—whatever of these things—all of which seem like the same thing to me, by the way. You know? Like, if you tell me, “Well, the microwave oven, can you text on that?” “Yes,” I would believe you. Okay? So I have none of these machines, which is what allows people to not be wherever they are. Okay? But since I don’t have them, and I’m forced to be where I am all the time, which is why I’m noticing what other people are doing. Okay? Most people aren’t noticing where they are, because they’re not really anyplace. They’re—if you are, like, doing this?” [She mimes texting on a BlackBerry.] “That’s where you are. I don’t care where you’re doing it—that’s where you are. So the experience of the street, say, in New York, which I have, commonly, you know, every day? I’m one of the very few people in the street, having the experience of the street.

—Fran Lebowitz in the movie Public Speaking, from about 54:15 to 55:00.