Category Archives: Readings

What We Read at Our Reading

First, as an introduction, our inimitable One Story cocktail hour and reading series host Hannah Tinti gave a dramatic reading of our Styles section announcement (thus alleviating all my capsule bio concerns).

Then I read (and sang) the last five and a half pages of the first chapter of Emily‘s awesome first novel, The Testament of Yves Gundron.

Then Emily read “The Possibilities Are Endless,” which I wrote originally this past fall for the other blog to which I make occasional contributions of a highly unreliable frequency, and “An American Casanova in New York, by Balthus Poindexter: A Reading Group Guide,” which is live, as of today, on Yankee Pot Roast.

It was so much fun! (As I mentioned before, One Story, a.k.a. the best literary journal ever, has posted some pictures from the reading here.)

A Brief History of Recent Autobiography

I’ve been wondering if I should update my bio on the One Story Web site for the special “just married” edition of the One Story Cocktail Hour and Reading Series that my wife and I are doing this coming Friday. I originally wrote it to appear at the end of issue #74, accompanying my story “The Samoan Assassin Calls It Quits;” the story is, in part, about driving from Cambridge to Gardner, Massachusetts, which is why the bio has that business about Route 2, which I worry is potentially completely baffling outside its original context. The reading is now only two days away, though, so clearly I’m just going to let it stand as is. (There was a part of the bio that I did ask One Story to cut, a “forthcoming” credit that was no longer true, which is the kind of experience that always makes me enormously glad that I lived my entire childhood before the invention of the World Wide Web, and thus am spared—at least until all high school newspaper archives everywhere are uploaded for all to see—the neverending humiliation of sports scores, reviews of musicals, etc. being preserved in perpetuity.)

All of which made me think about some of the bios I’ve written for a few of the readings I’ve done in the past year or so; they’ve all met very different online fates, which made me want to preserve them all in one place. (At least until such time as the Internet is replaced by something—what’s the Douglas Adams line I quoted in my high school yearbook? “[S]omething even more bizarre and inexplicable”? Yes, that’s it.)

There are redundancies, obviously, and the odd self-referentiality of compiling things that were, in part, intended to inspire people to visit this Web site; but I hope the following are nevertheless entertaining.

The Back Room, Literary Death Match III (May 22, 2006):

Thomas Hopkins used to eat writers like you for breakfast before he even got his baby teeth. The threat this man poses to his Death Match competitors, and to polite society in general, will be underestimated at their peril. Do they love the social contract? Do they treasure their bodily integrity? Ought they not ensure that their limbs, and their ability to sleep at night, will remain intact at the end of this competition, and just bow out now, sneak out the back way? Learn more at the barely legal Web site of this lady killer, this literary giant, this hot-headed menace, this public enemy number one:

KGB Bar, Quickies (May 6, 2006):

Thomas Hopkins looks forward to a bright future world of elegant brevity. Or have we already arrived? Gadzooks! Learn more at his snappy Web site, featuring a sublimely compact address:

Lucky 13, Atomic Series (April 2, 2006):

Thomas Hopkins is totally psyched to be spending almost the entirety of the month of April on a working cattle ranch in northern Wyoming, where the western edge of the Great Plains meets the foothills of the Bighorn Mountains. When hiking in those foothills, he plans on wearing a bright orange vest and yodeling as loud as he can to avoid getting peppered in the face with buckshot from the guns of Wyoming-based politicos who may or may not drink beer and eat human flesh for breakfast. His stories have appeared in the online edition of Pindeldyboz, the current issue of Quick Fiction, and the anthology Homewrecker: An Adultery Reader. He has also written for Poets & Writers. He wishes he knew how to quit you. His Web site, which he tries to keep lively and entertaining on a weekly basis, is

Stain Bar, Sunday Salon (December 11, 2005):

Thomas Hopkins is a recent graduate of NYU’s Creative Writing Program, which nominated his work for Best New American Voices 2007. His stories have appeared in the online edition of Pindeldyboz, the current issue of Quick Fiction, and the anthology Homewrecker: An Adultery Reader. He has also written for Poets & Writers. His drawings and photographs have been published in the online journals Flâneur, La Petite Zine, and Unpleasant Event Schedule, as well as in the print publications Black Book, Alternative Press, Quill and Quire, and The New York Times. He enjoys Barthelme, Borges, Calvino, Cortazar, long walks on the beach, quiet nights in front of a roaring fire, and just all kinds of music, really. His Web site is

Reading May 22

I will be representing the most excellent journal Quick Fiction in LITERARY DEATH MATCH III, the third installment of a new, competitive reading series, presented by Opium Magazine. I will be going head to head in a furious, violent, heady, orgiastic scrum of letters with representatives of McSweeney’s, Nerve, and Me Three. I am thirsty for blood, and I will take no prisoners.

The reading starts at 8:00pm on Monday. It’s at The Back Room, 102 Norfolk Street (between Delancey and Rivington). This horrifying, chilling spectacle, not for the faint of heart, is free.

More information, for the moment, is available at Sweet Fancy Moses, which, at the moment, refers to me a Thomas Hopkins representative. Which I’d like to think I am, always. Although if I think about it too much, I might have to start referring to myself in the third person, or the first person plural, or both, depending on context.

We at Thomas Hopkins would be delighted to see you there.

Reading April 2

I’m reading in one week at Cheryl B.‘s Atomic [N.B. Link removed; no longer extant] series, at Lucky 13 in Park Slope!

Sunday, April 2, at 7:00pm! With David Webber and Francine Witte! 273 13th St. at 5th Ave., Brooklyn! Free!

Please come! This will be fun.

And look, my bio [N.B. Link removed; no longer extant] is up!

And did you see my bio for the Sunday Salon back in December? (Scroll about a third of the way down the page; there’s also a photograph of me reading from that night. Behind the stool I’m perched on is a Fender amplifier; I could be wrong, but to the left of what I think is a P.A. head on top of the amp appears to be a dancing monkey wearing a tambourine as a hat, a brown shawl draped over his shoulders, holding a blue football under his arm, squatting on top of a djembe, laughing, laughing. I certainly don’t remember a monkey being there, but, you know, I was very nervous.)

PS Almost forgot: I’ll be giving away copies of what I’ve been calling the EP version of my manuscript, Ladies’ Night at the Arctic Club and Other Stories, a.k.a. the limited edition bound galley I made of the thesis I handed in at NYU last spring. It’s pink! It’s free! It looks like this!:

PPS By “4-track demo EP version” I mean, like, metaphorically!

More Reminders

1) Remember how back in December I mentioned I’d be reading at Happy Ending on February 22 as part of a prurient and tawdry Homewrecker evening with Susannah Breslin [N.B. Link removed; no longer extant], Christine Hamm, Marty McConnell, and Felicia Sullivan? Well,

2) Some of us (or maybe all five of us?—I’m not totally sure) will also be reading Homewreckerishly at Brooklyn’s Lucky 13 that Friday, February 24. (Please don’t tell Happy Ending, though. Happy Ending gets crazy jealous!) And then,

3) I’ll be back at Lucky 13 on Sunday, April 2, reading as part of Cheryl B.‘s Atomic [N.B. Link removed; no longer extant] series.

Please come to any or all! These things will be fun.


1) My brilliant sister (two Bessies! two Obies!) is performing at St. Ann’s Warehouse on Wednesday, December 7.

2) I am reading on Sunday, December 11, at the Sunday Salon.

3) Cynthia and I are covering ’80s pop songs once again on Wednesday, December 14, at the Happy Ending Reading Series. Expect Bon Jovi, Journey, and Duran Duran, among others.

4) And finally, early advance notice: I will be reading at the Happy Ending Series on February 22, 2006, as part of a very special and romantic St. Valentine’s Day evening with fellow Homewrecker contributors Susannah Breslin [N.B. Link removed; no longer extant], Christine Hamm, Marty McConnell, and Felicia Sullivan. Bring that secret other someone.


Neither of these things is posted yet as of this writing, but I believe it’s safe to announce that I will be 1) reading on Sunday, December 11, at the Sunday Salon, and then a few days later, on December 14, 2) covering ’80s pop songs once again at the Happy Ending Reading Series with my brilliant sister, who just won her second Bessie last night (that’s two Bessies and two Obies total, so far). Our set list for Happy Ending is not definite, but probably will include both Bon Jovi and Journey, among others; our instrumentation will also most likely include a special guest on the fiddle.